Look, We Learned from Our Merchandise Trauma 😤

Remember how we told you about getting burned by terrible
haunted house merchandise? Yeah, we're STILL not over it. 💀
Those tragic t-shirts that cracked after one wash haunted
us worse than anything we ever put in our attraction.

So we became absolutely obsessive about getting it right: 🔥

🎨 **DTG Printing That Actually Works**
No more designs that peel off like bad sunburn. These prints
are heat-set and cured to survive your washing machine's
aggressive tendencies and still look vibrant after 50+ washes. ✨

🖤 **Premium Ring-Spun Cotton**
The kind of fabric that gets BETTER with age - softer, more
comfortable, but never loses its shape. Perfect for people
who actually wear their art instead of just collecting it. 👕

🕯️ **Colors That Stay True**
We test every ink combination obsessively because faded goth
aesthetic wasn't the vibe we were going for. Your "Midnight
Coffee" stays midnight, your "Void Black" stays properly void. 🌙

✨ **Hand-Inspected Quality Control**
Clint & Sarah personally eyeball every piece before it ships
because we're control freaks in the best possible way. 👥 If it
wouldn't pass our "Would we actually wear this?" test, it
doesn't leave our workshop. 🏠

The Bottom Line: 📝
We refuse to be responsible for that specific disappointment
of opening a package and thinking "well, this is aggressively
mediocre." 📦 Your art should be as enduring as your beautifully
bizarre personality. 🎭